The volunteer dating game

Despite the stigma in some social circles that accompanies being single, it’s important not to enter a relationship just to “fit in.” Being alone and being lonely are not the same thing.And nothing is as unhealthy and dispiriting as being in a bad relationship.Or maybe your dating history consists only of brief flings and you don't know how to make a relationship last.You could be attracted to the wrong type of person or keep making the same bad choices over and over, due to an unresolved issue from your past.For many of us, our emotional baggage can make finding the right romantic partner a difficult journey.Perhaps you grew up in a household where there was no role model of a solid, healthy relationship and you doubt that such a thing even exists.Retaining many of these unrealistic expectations can make any potential partner seem inadequate and any new relationship feel disappointing. Even if certain traits seem crucially important at first, over time you'll often find that you've been needlessly limiting your choices.For example, it may be more important to find someone who is: Needs are different than wants in that needs are those things that matter to you most, such as values, ambitions, or goals in life.

These expectations may be based on your family history, influence of your peer group, your past experiences, or even ideals portrayed in movies and TV shows. Wants include things like occupation, intellect, and physical attributes such as height, weight, and hair color.Myth: I didn’t feel close to my parents, so intimacy is always going to be uncomfortable for me.Fact: It’s never too late to change any pattern of behavior.Myth: If I don’t feel an instant attraction to someone, it’s not a relationship worth pursuing.Fact: This is an important myth to dispel, especially if you have a history of making inappropriate choices.

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